chubby-and-easily-scared:

just-shower-thoughts:

xxxTentacion raped his girlfriend with a bbq fork and repeatedly beat her up while she was pregnant and people love him but Louis C.K. jacked up in front of a few female comics and was ostracized

I mean… both are bad…

No proof of the prior just here say at this point it’s called innocent until proven guilty but oh well that’s my generation. She wouldn’t be pregnant if she was raped with a bbq spoon which has prongs on it.

cryptusk:

postneolithicmenagerie:

dornisaurio:

I think this will be the last thing I will ever write, I hope I don’t coward at the last moment, I’m very scared and I don’t want to do this. But I will do it regardless because what is 20 minutes of pain while I bleed out, compared to the months and months of serious depression I’ve been part of?

I’m tired

I’m extremely tired, I’m exhausted, I don’t have the energy to go on. 

I don’t have the passion to go on. 

I don’t see any point in going on.

I’m tired of how my family has been treating me I’m tired of how they make fun of my body all the time, I hate how my aunt keeps pulling my body hair infront of people and is like “look at how hairy he is” 

I’m tired of my family making light of my failure after college time and time and time and time again as if it was my fault that British Columbia had a “donald trump-like” fart and decided they didn’t wanted immigrants to get jobs without a qualification survey for local talent. 

I’m tired of having to endure that pain even till today while I look back at my classmates and I see them living the life I dreamed off. 

I’m tired of not making enough money to support my family and when I make enough money to support them I am too tired and exhausted to go out with them so I’m called lazy, 

So if I don’t work to be able to be there for my family, I’m not making enough money and if I’m making enough money by working overnight until 8 am then I’m lazy. 

I’m tired of my family telling me I’m confused, that I should get a girlfriend, that I’m a fag that I should never come out of the closet or else it will kill my grandmother of a heart attack.

Speaking of family I’m fucking tired of having to say hi and smile for my blood mother every single fucking day despite having the memory burnt in my head of when she almost killed my grandmother INFRONT of me 

I’m tired of having to be nice everyday to someone who wants my family dead just because I’m scared of she killing me, well to late now for her I’ll do the job myself. 

I’m tired that economy keeps going up and down making me make a lot of money one month but then barely enough the next month.

I’m tired of my dad being too lazy to get a fucking job and how he keeps putting me in debt and how again we’re one step from debt because he doesn’t want to realize nobody likes his tattoos. 

I… don’t have the energy to work on a creative field anymnore

I’m delayed months commissions and even MORE months on a secret project I’;m doing to someone who has been more than nice and patient with me while I can’t sit and focus on doing artwork for more than 1 hour a week without having an emotional breakdown.

I dont have the energy to stand up and make commissions right now get up to date with my work and get more work.

And then it comes my trans cousin, I love him but my family don’t

I’m tired of my family misgendering him, saying he’s confusing, negating him from his will of going to California to study fine arts just so he can be on a more controlled environment. 

I’m tired that he can’t wear the clothes he wants because god forbids grandma has a heart attack

im tired we both have to live our lives a secret because none of the fucking adults want to sit with grandma and tell her she has to be accepting of her grandchildren which i’m sure with the right words she will understand. 

I’m just tired. 

I dont want to be in debt again

I don’t want to work 

I don’t want to talk about my breakup with hurricane which was… the most painful thing to add in to the mix of things that are stressing me out. 

I tried to fight I tried to be strong, you guys all know I did tried to get strong, I was so commited I cut my 1.5 year long hair just so I could APPLY to become a volunteer firefighter

because I needed that dicipline in my life, because I felt like becoming a firefighter would give me a change of environment and let me meet new people as well as help people 

I was very exited and for a week I was distracted from my depression chasing that small ray of hope

but it’s gone now 

I’m not getting the position. 

I’m not good enough for anything

there is a lot wrong in my life and I don’t have the energy to fix any of it. 

I don’t even have the energy to make my dog happy anymore 

I’m human waste and I’m tired and I just want to grab a knife, a bunch of pills, put them on a backpack, go buy some cheap whisky and lay down on an abandoned house until I don’t wake up anymore

I’m sorry guys

I died fighting 

but this is a fight I cannot win

People like me don’t deserve to be happy. 

Please folks, the life of @dornisaurio could be in danger. If anyone knows something about him or some way of look or contact him directly for avoid a tragedy, PLEASE DO IT.

Don’t let the number of victims of homophobia grow bigger. Don’t let their abusive family steal his life. He needs your help, and, even in the most pragmatic circumstance, he created art for you, now it’s time to retribute it helping him. You owe it to him

And if he’s safe, please, support him. Few guys here deserve more emotional support. Thanks so much.

DON’T BE LAZY AND REBLOG THIS

(via cryptusk-deactivated20181016)

hotmeatmarket:

I’ve recently gotten a number of messages from guys telling me how badly they want to be made HIV+. Literally chasing after any guy they can that they either think is positive, or has claimed to be, to take their loads bareback. This is my initial reaction.

WTF is wrong with you?! I know guys who are HIV+ who are on medication and I can tell you, THEY ARE NOT HAPPY. They live in continual worry about catching a flu or a cold. Their immune system is as delicate as a cart of paper thin crystal rolling across a cobblestone street! The meds have side effects that manifest in people differently. Some of the guys and girls I know who are HIV positive on medication suffer from exhaustion, diarrhea, continual headaches, vomiting… It is NOT GLAMOROUS! I see blog posts about guys claiming they are happier now that they are HIV+ which contradicts EVERY PERSON I KNOW WHO IS! I asked one of them about “bug chasers” and if they ever had guys approach them in their quest to become positive. A few guys admitted they had been in that situation and their reaction:

One told me to quote him:

“YOU GUYS LOOKING TO BECOME POZ ARE INSANE! MY LIFE HAS BEEN EVERYTHING BUT GLAMOROUS! When it got around, people I knew for YEARS acted like they could catch it just by being near me. I lost a lot of acquaintances. I really found out who my real friends are. When it got around people I worked with I was eventually fired and had no way of proving it was because of my HIV status. But I KNEW it was. My family didn’t shun me, they know I’m bisexual but I could see the pain in their eyes. My mother even said that she didn’t want to outlive me! The meds ARE AWFUL! Every day I’m exhausted, usually I have no appetite or my stomach is very delicate and I get queasy often. I wouldn’t wish this on ANYONE. Aside from the side effects I’m healthy but I have to be VERY careful about germs. A simple sneeze or cough sets off my nerves, “am I about to get taken out by a simple cold? Is this when it turns into AIDS?!” I don’t hook up with people anymore, even ones who claim they are HIV positive as well. There are still tons of other STD’s out there and as far as I’m concerned if you’re out there with HIV/AIDS and fucking bareback, it’s likely you’ve got a lot more than just that. HIV/AIDS is STILL killing people. We’re living longer YES, but most of us are not living happily or comfortably. Also, those of us with BRAINS know that we are carrying a potentially lethal weapon inside us, sex with anyone puts them at risk as well. Anyone who thinks that’s no big deal needs to seek mental help. People actively infecting other people should be locked up for attempted murder! I used to be a gorgeous twink. I discovered I am HIV+ four years ago. I’m 25 now and I look fucking 40 years old! I’ve lost a ton of weight, my skin is CRAP now. I LOOK like I’m on drugs.  I never did drugs, rarely drank. I had sex with someone who didn’t know they were HIV+ and I know this is true because the second they found out they contacted me sobbing, scared that they’d given it to me. When I got tested and it came back positive I told them and it damn near caused them to commit suicide. I had to talk them out of it! They apologized constantly for what they did to me. It was really and honestly a stupid night of unprotected sex that changed both our lives, his; then months later mine. I live my life, I try to go about life like I did before but it will NEVER be the same. I regularly get check-ups, praying my T-Cells haven’t dropped too low. I’m always scared that tomorrow I’ll catch a cold or something will happen and boom, AIDS will kick in. Don’t be a fucking idiot, stop glamorizing and promoting the spread of HIV. Just stop.”